


The Beginning in the End

by vesaldi



Series: Rivayn Vesaldi: The Warrior of Light [8]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Gen, Patch 3.56 spoilers, Stormblood Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 17:32:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14383563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vesaldi/pseuds/vesaldi
Summary: Yda has a secret, and after everything that's happened she's not sure she can keep it anymore. But what will her friends think of her once she's come clean? One-shot based on one of the cutscenes from The Far Edge of Fate, from Yda's perspective.





	The Beginning in the End

**Author's Note:**

> Based on and contains dialogue from the FFXIV: Heavensward quest "The Far Edge of Fate". Contains pre-Stormblood spoilers - I do not recommend you read it unless you have completed this quest or don't mind serious spoilers.

Yda stared up at the night sky. At the stars. At the emptiness. The hulking mass of Shinryu's cage had been shattered, and the sky lay barren at its loss. It looked painfully at peace. She was anything but.

She had been standing on that platform for what seemed like an eternity, just staring out into the stars and remembering. So many thoughts filled her head. Thoughts of Papalymo, of Ala Mhigo, and of her sister. Thoughts of Minfilia, of Moenbryda, of her father. So many thoughts, all swirling together until she could scarce make heads or tails of where one memory ended and the next began. Everything blurred together into one grand image in her head. An image of regret.

Voices echoed from below the platform, and Yda drew in a sharp breath as she heard footsteps on the wooden stairs behind her. She was out of time. She could feel the presence behind her, and with one last heavy sigh she made her decision.

"The light's gone," she said, barely more than a whisper. "It was all we had left of him..."

"Yda," Alphinaud breathed, his voice full of pity. She hung her head slightly.

"I don't blame anyone," she told them, still looking out over the wall at the empty sky. "I knew what was going to happen. I knew the spell Papalymo meant to cast would drain away his life force. I.. knew it would only buy us a little time..."

With another deep sigh, Yda reached up and slowly pulled off her mask. Her long blonde hair tumbled down her back, and she slowly turned toward her friends. Y'shtola looked at her, eyes full of tender concern. Alphinaud, Krile, and Rivayn stood beside her. Yda felt the weight of their stares as if they were seeing her for the first time. That was ridiculous, of course. They had seen her face hundreds of times. But this time felt different. This time she finally felt ready to speak the truth.

"Yda, there is no need to explain," Y'shtola assured her.

"But there is," Yda replied, a tinge of frustration in her usually jovial voice. The frustration, of course, was with herself. "I can't hide in Papalymo's little shadow anymore and I shouldn't hide behind my sister's mask."

And there it was. _No going back now,_ she thought to herself. She closed her eyes, so she wouldn't be able to see their reaction.

"Twenty years ago, on the day the Empire marched into Ala Mhigo, I was still just a child - not even five summers old," she explained, breathing deeply and evenly. Her heart raced, and it felt as though it might simply burst from her chest right then and there. She opened her eyes. They all stood quietly. Patiently. Expectantly. Rivayn's brow was furrowed as he stood before her, his arms crossed and his head slightly cocked. Gods, what would he think of her when she finished?

"My father had been one of the leaders of the revolution. He had fought to overthrow the mad king, Theodoric," Yda continued. Part of her wanted to stop right there. To run from that platform. To hide somewhere far away. No going back now, she repeated to herself. "And my sister fought alongside him." It was everything she could do to keep the tears that threatened to well up in her eyes at bay. "She was strong and kind, and always knew what to do."

Yda's eyes flitted across the faces in front of her. Alphinaud seemed absorbed in the story, as if she were telling a fairy tale. Krile's expression was stony and calm, as usual, while Y'shtola's warm eyes rested heavily upon her. Rivayn's brow remained deeply furrowed.

"But when the Garlean's came, everything changed," Yda continued, taking a deep breath. "My father went to war against them too, and I never saw him again." Her shoulders sagged as she let the memories wash over her. "After that, I remember a lot of running. My sister dragged me for malms and malms until we came to the city of Sharlyan. That was where she met Master Louisoix. He introduced her to the Circle of Knowing, and she eventually became an Archon."

"She was your inspiration," Y'shtola interrupted, giving Yda a moment of respite. "Is that not why you took up her mask and her name? Or did you simply mean to continue what she started?"

There was an audible gasp, and Yda wasn't rightly sure if it was herself or one of the others. Her mouth hung agape as she stared at her fellow Scions. "You've known all along, haven't you?" she asked. "That I wasn't Yda."

Another audible gasp, and this time she was sure it was someone else. "Of course. We all recognized you at once," Y'shtola explained with a warm smile. "T'was Papalymo who persuaded us to maintain the charade."

She let herself smile as she remembered Papalymo. Her mentor. Her friend. "It was silly to think I could fool you," she admitted. "I knew that even then, but I... I sort of... decided not to know."

The other Scions all watched her expectantly. Krile betrayed no surprise in her ever-composed visage, but Alphinaud could scare hide his shock. Nor could Rivayn. His mouth hung slightly open, his fists tightly clenched beneath his folded arms, and his eyes now held a look of bewilderment. _He's upset,_ she thought to herself. _You've lied to him for months_. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, shaking the intrusive thoughts from her mind. It was too late to worry about it now.

"Yda died six years ago, on a mission to smuggle refugees out of Ala Mhigo," she explained. "They say she was overwhelmed by imperial soldiers when she stayed behind to save a little girl." She paused, her breath catching in her throat. "She was so strong... there must have been a lot of them."

Rivayn opened his mouth to speak, but closed it without a word. His brow furrowed yet again, even more deeply than before.

"I'm sorry for lying to you," she told them. "My real name is Lyse."

 _Lyse_. She hadn't said her own name is what felt like a lifetime. _Lyse. LYSE_. She could finally think of herself as herself.

"When Paplymo brought me Yda's mask, it was meant as a keepsake," Lyse continued, looking down at the old mask still clutched in her hand. "But I decided _I_ wanted to be his new partner, to keep alive all the good work that she had done." Lyse paused as she stared at the mask. She had hidden herself behind that dowdy piece of headgear for years. "I didn't want to _become_ Yda, exactly... at the time, though, I still didn't know who I was myself, and it almost seemed easier to play the role."

Lyse sighed, clutching the mask with both hands. "Papalymo agreed to help, of course, but it was never what he wanted for me. He wanted me to walk my own path, and those were his last words to me." She raised her right hand to touch her now-barren neck. "The Archon's mark he gave me is faded, and my last excuse along with it."

With a deep breath and a smile, Lyse raised her head. "So, this is it. Whatever I choose to do from now on, I do as Lyse. And I choose to continue my family's fight. I want Ala Mhigo to be the country that Yda and my father always wanted it to be!"'

"That is... certainly a worthy cause," Alphinaud told her, clearly doing his best to render support while still reeling from her confession.

"And we shall support you in any way we are able, is that not so Krile?" Y'shtola added, her gaze falling on her companion.

"Of course," Krile agreed. "T'would go without saying."

"Then we are all in agreement," Y'shtola concluded with a smile. Lyse noted that none of them so much as glanced at Rivayn, who still looked to be at a loss for words.

"Thank you," Lyse told them with a bashful smile. She watched the four of them walk single file down the stairs away from the platform, and finally let out a sigh of relief.

Lyse turned back toward the platform railing, holding Yda's mask in her hands as she looked back up at the stars. What would Yda have thought of all this? Lyse wasn't really sure if her sister would have approved. She'd never been sure, but she'd done it anyway. Yda... It had been six long years, pretending to be her sister, and it was finally over. A piece of her - a _large_ piece - felt like revealing her secret was finally letting the last bit of Yda go. But she knew that wasn't true. She could never let go. Not like that.

"Lyse?"

She was so startled at the sound of her own name that she dropped the mask, watching as it tumbled to the forest floor below her. She could barely see it resting among the leaves. Lyse turned around, surprised to see Rivayn waiting at the top of the stairs.

"I.. uh..." His eyes looked beyond her. "Sorry," he finally told her.

For a moment she didn't understand what he meant. "The mask?" she finally asked. He nodded sheepishly. "Oh, believe me, it's been through worse than a bit of dirt."

"I... I think I owe you an apology." Rivayn crossed him arms over his chest, glancing down at the wooden planks beneath his feet. "I should have said something before. _Anything_."

"I've been lying to you for almost a year," Lyse reminded him.

"Yes, but... But no." Rivayn's arms were crossed over his chest, and his brow was furrowed as he struggled to find the best way to explain himself. "You were trying to do the right thing. That's... it's not the same as just... lying."

"Rivayn, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but--"

"Give yourself a break," he interrupted. "You seem rather eager to convince me to be angry with you."

Lyse blinked. "I... wow, you're right."

Rivayn smiled. "It happens." His smile faded. "I should have said something before, and I'm sorry I didn't. I was just... It was a lot to process, and I realize by just standing there without saying anything I must have seemed upset."

"You have every right to be," Lyse told him, hanging her head slightly.

"Maybe, but I know you."

"But that's just it - you don't," Lyse countered. "I haven't let you."

"That's what _you_ think," he replied with a grin. "You think you played the part perfectly and kept everyone at arm's length, but now that I know who _you_ are I know that's not true."

Lyse opened her mouth to respond, but the words wouldn't come. They wouldn't come because they weren't true. She knew he had seen her. He had seen _her_ , not Yda. He might have been the only one who had.

"I just want you to know that I do see you," he told her. "I see _you_ , and I'm sorry I didn't see you before."

"Rivayn..."

"I might be the only one who didn't know, but I know you let me in."

"There's always Alphinaud," Lyse told him with a hint grin. "Apparently no one told him."

Rivayn smiled. "Well, I feel ever so slightly better." He moved next to her, resting his elbows on the railing and leaning forward to look down below them. "You know, it's funny... The mask, I mean."

"Funny?" Lyse repeated.

"It's not like you physically wore it all the time," Rivayn explained, "but in a way it was always there."

"Not anymore," she assured him. "I'm done hiding."

He turned his head toward her, a warm smile on his face. "Good." Rivayn turned to look up at the stars. "You know, I've never really paid attention to the sky before, but damn if the view from here isn't gorgeous."

"Yda and I used to look up at the stars all time time," Lyse told him with a smile. "I remember her teaching me about the constellations when I was young, before we had to leave Ala Mhigo."

"That sounds really nice," Rivayn said.

"I... I miss her." Lyse sighed and hung her head. She'd been pretending to be Yda for so long that she wasn't sure she ever really _mourned_ her sister.

She looked up as Rivayn nudged her slightly with his shoulder. "You're not alone anymore, Lyse," he assured her.

"I know," Lyse told him with a weak smile. She took in one last deep breath, letting the cool night air linger before exhaling. "It's late. We should get back."

Rivayn nodded. "We've got a big day tomorrow."

"Right," Lyse agreed with a smile. "Tomorrow we free Ala Mhigo."


End file.
